As an homage to Pete Seeger, who passed away only a few weeks ago, I have to paraphrase from his haunting folksong and ask… Where HAVE all the manners gone?

Ok, you feel it too, unless you’re that person who doesn’t return business phone calls or emails or texts.  When did it become OK to ignore social conventions and niceties that helped business along, established relationships and in the end, produced revenues for all?

Are all the manners gone, long time passing?  I’ve been in the business world for over 30 years, and was raised by parents who were way up the food chain in their workplaces, and I have to say, I was expected, by bosses and parents alike, to reply to any communication, on any level, as soon as possible.  Even if it was to say that I needed some time to give a complete answer, no answer was not acceptable. (Enough double-negatives for you?)  Ever.  So what happened?

This new electronic/information age should have made it easier to be connected and to be professional with communications.  With all the alerts that the standard smart phone throws out, and there are many, how does someone NOT know that they have an email, a text, a phone message, a Facebook reply or a new tweet?  It’s impossible!  And yet, too many people that we subsequently meet up with at the myriad of events, claim they “missed” that call or email… they are full of “sorry’s and oops!” but, c’mon… REALLY?

No, they did not miss it.  They are just not in the habit of returning all communications even if it is to say that they don’t need/want/desire your services, input or whatever the topic was about!  And their management or training says it’s OK to ignore these attempts at connection; if the person wants to talk that badly, they’ll try again.  Hmmmm, so your time is more important than mine, and I have to spend triple the amount of that precious time tracking someone down?  Probably not.

One of the most disappointing factors of this new approach to communication, for those of us in the service business, is the lack of communication after a new business pitch meeting.  Even when the client calls us to request a bid, there are times when we just cannot get any feedback or reply to the proposal.  Having been on the client side, and in charge of major companies and huge budgets, I never left a consultant or vendor hanging out there waiting for an answer.  Never. Because, good or bad, I either wanted the work to commence, or I wanted to get them out of my hair!

And I rarely do it now… because I know that if I don’t respond as soon as I can, then it gets lost in the clutter.  And since I’m not a fan of the non-response, I sure try hard to not do it to others.

Unanswered requests for feedback to a query creates anxiety and confusion to the consultant.  What was wrong with the proposal, can we learn from this and do better next time?  Did the client change the parameters, did they decide to not use a consultant?  How hard is it to send a short note with a quick update, good or bad.  We certainly don’t get every client we pitch, but when we don’t hear back, after a few well-spaced calls, it’s just confusing!  Especially when they called us first AND they said they would let us know within a day/week whatever… it’s just simple manners and courtesy.

And we all know how frustrating it is to put out a call to someone – requesting input, info or answers – and hearing… well, crickets.  Nothing.  Nada.  Zilch.  So we have to make a note, remember that we tried to start a dialogue, and then do followup. Again, REALLY?  I want to give you business, and you don’t return my call?

So where have all the manners gone, long time passing?  When will they ever learn?